Thanks. I critically failed.
Synopsis
Edit
Juniper and Amaryllis stop at a ruined, looted house, killing the two undead lurking in the area. All the food in the house is spoiled, but Juniper finds some fruit and vegetables in the undergrowth of the yard—unlocking Horticulture.
The first things Amaryllis wants to know about are Juniper's game layer and magic abilities. Juniper attempts to explain in terms that Amaryllis would understand, using Arthur's likening of tabletop games to unscripted plays. Amaryllis likens the idea to a kind of show performed in Five Spires—a name which Juniper recognises—but it turns out that these plays are much more heavily structured.
The culture shock experienced by Juniper and Amaryllis only increases after an extended misunderstanding about computers—with those on Aerb being women trained at the Athenaeum of Mathematics and Metaphysics rather than machines. Faced with a frustratingly large number of questions, Amaryllis proposes that they take turns asking questions of each other. Many "Things To Ask Cypress Amaryllis" soon come to Juniper's mind:
- How do I learn spells?
- What powers do gods have?
- What happened to the Risen Lands?
- Why were you on that plane?
- What are you the princess of?
- How large is Aerb in comparison to Earth?
- How quickly is technology progressing, if at all?
- What do the dream-skewered say about Earth?
- Does Fel Seed exist?
- Do the mimsies exist?
- Is there a city called Nightsmoke?
- Why don’t people say the z-word?
- What are void crystals and why were they banned?
- Where do souls come from?
However, his first question ends up being "What's in Silmar City?". He almost blunders by asking a followup question after Amaryllis answers—but in avoiding doing so, Amaryllis's loyalty increases to level 2.
Amaryllis and Juniper then go on to exchange information about Juniper's character sheet and the creation of souls on Aerb (apparently, most of those used to power machinery are created using a combination of "Podsnap's Technique" and "Bokanovsky's Process"). Amaryllis asks Juniper to attempt to intimidate her as a way of discovering new skills on his partially-uncovered character sheet, and when he makes his attempt, he does indeed unlock Intimidation, achieving a critical failure. He then unintentionally increases his Romance skill.
When Juniper asks Amaryllis what she is the princess of, she tells him the story of the Lost King and his two sons, starting him on a new quest—The Lost King, Found?. The Lost King's name was Uther Penndraig—a name Juniper recognises.
On Earth, Tom, Reimer, Arthur, and Craig are rolling their characters at the beginning of another one of Juniper's campaigns. As Juniper accommodates the various idiosyncracies of the group's characters, Arthur expresses his interest in making an expy of King Arthur Pendragon—on account of their shared forename. He eventually decides on the first name Uther, after King Arthur's father, and the last name Penndraig, to better fit the setting of this particular campaign.
Amaryllis and Juniper retire for the night. With Juniper struggling to sleep after the events of the day, Amaryllis puts him to sleep with a magic word and a touch.
Featured charactersEdit
- Juniper Smith
- Amaryllis Penndraig
- Arthur Blum
- Uther Penndraig
- Greg (mentioned only)
- Tom (flashback only)
- Arthur Reimer (flashback only)
- Craig (flashback only)
QuotesEdit
“Um. You, you had better … had better not sleep during your guard shift tonight. Or else.”
- —Juniper critically fails to intimidate Amaryllis.
“Elhart Cloakshield. Signature move: twirling his cloak and using it like a shield.”
- —Tom introduces his elven character.
“Arthur Pendragon? I thought we weren’t doing copycat names.” “I said you couldn’t be a warforged named Megatron.”
- —Reimer and Juniper react to Arthur's new character.
“I mean, obviously you can’t start as the King of England, but I’ll see what I can do about a watery tart throwing a sword.”
- —Juniper starts Arthur down the road to becoming the Best King Ever.
NotesEdit
Continuity notesEdit
- As noted by Juniper, one of the White Spires was depicted on a calendar in Comfort's shire-reeve office. He visited the office in chapter 4.
- Fel Seed, the mimsies and Nightsmoke were likewise referenced in chapter 4—though Fel Seed was first mentioned in chapter 3.
- Amaryllis didn't take kindly to Juniper referring to the Risen Lands' undead using the "z-word" in chapter 3, but he didn't get a chance to ask her about it at the time.
- As we find out in chapter 9, the magic word that Amaryllis uses to put Juniper to sleep is a spell that does not belong to any school of magic.
Real-world referencesEdit
- Juniper's comparison of plays in Five Spires to a hypothetical "Twitch plays Shakespeare" is a reference to Twitch Plays Pokémon.
- Apparently, Juniper ran a short steampunk campaign at some point.
- Juniper and his friends discuss many pop-cultural and historical icons, including the mythical king of England, Arthur Pendragon, Megatron and the Decepticons, Alexander the Great, Benjamin Franklin, Tom Hanks, Thomas Aquinas, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and (courtesy of Google) every other notable Tom since the New Testament.
